Barnaby the Squirrel

Barnaby was a pervert, a coward and a squirrel. he was abused as a child, probably, and was always looking to prove something that was, in most cases, unprovable. Barnaby hung out in a group of oaks trees on little Zoe's street. Zoe was six and deathly afraid of squirrels, due mostly to Barnaby's cruel, but self-affirming tricks. One time, when Zoe was 4, Barnaby jumped in her bedroom while she slept. He was loaded on acorns and goofballs and after biting the clothing off of 3 of Zoe's dolls and eating some Doritos out of the trash can, he passed out. When Zoe awoke, the first thing she saw was Barnaby asleep on her chest snoring, with an erect penis. When she screamed at the sight of the pulsating member, Barnaby went into a confused panic, clawing her stomach as he tried to escape. Barnaby flew into a closed window, falling back on the floor. Zoe was in hysterics. Before her parents came in, Barnaby found the right window and rolled down a tree. Zoe's parents never did quite make out the vividly incoherent story she was trying to tell them. Meanwhile, Barnaby, slightly bruised but ultimately unaffected, made his way down to play some poker and watch the broads wiggle as they served him drinks in an elm tree in the Baker's backyard.